Marriage is the only institution that you enter without anticipating your graduation day and nobody gives you an accolade if you graduate without working at it. But to ensure you achieve this feat; you need to flourish it with time and attention.
The best way to destroy your home is to ignore your spouse and take your marriage for granted. The truth is busyness is a tool of marriage destruction. Your busyness may even be a legitimate one, you may be hooked with your job or Dawah, and your newborn baby may even be the one that keeps you busy taking you from the love and affection of your spouse.
The main reason your spouse married you is that he/she thought you will be a good friend, companion, a talk mate, a consoler unfortunately many married couple are many things to each other except these things because everybody is busy somewhere.
Your marriage is like a garden that will grow unwanted weed if unattended to. “Weed” of misunderstanding, hurts, suspicions, quarrel, depression, hatred etc. nothing is good enough to take your family from you.
As a wise couple you will yield to the counsel of ensuring your family adds positively to the society at large not negatively by fostering attributes and character that will ensure positive attitudes. Create time to be together, create time to pray, play, talk, laugh, work, relax and study together. You can never make the most of your family if your marriage is always on the fast lane of life.
The demand of modern day city life will always want to surf life out of your family life; too many bills and fees to pay, debts to be paid up can make one to work without thinking about one’s family life.
Schedule of work, traffic hold up, television are other things that can turn a couple to strangers to each other, they can stay in the same house and be distant friends. They can be sleeping on the same bed and not have time to talk for months.
WAYS TO HAVE A HOT AND SIZZLING MARRIAGE
1. Consciously create time to talk daily: at least 1hour of intimate talk with television off and handsets switch off, no children interference. Just the two of you in your own private world.
2. Date each other: find time to date each other despite your busy schedule no matter the age of your marriage, create anticipation, surprises and once in your busy schedule just have plain fun together in your little world.
3. Avoid weekend jobs: Do everything possible to avoid working on weekends, use that time for your family, use that period to bond with your spouse and create intimacy. And if your job is such that you don’t get to decide the time of your weekend; make sure the time you have your weekend off is memorable. Don’t spend it just watching TV and sleeping. Let your family savor the moment with you.
4. Make good use of phone: send massages, talk several times on phone daily, don’t just talk about important things, talk about anything, gist, talk just to hear each other’s voice, never be tired to hear the voice of each other on phone.
5. Make parenting a joint effort: this will not give the woman the room to give all her attention to the new baby and will even take some burden off her thereby give her enough strength for romance.
6. Maximize any opportunity to be together: avoid unnecessary argument anytime you are together, never be in a contest, never give room for contention, give room for deep communication, high level of romance and heartfelt relationship.
7. Never out grow romance: “Romance” is the plug of marriage; it is the only thing that can cause the spark of engine of love to come to life, that is the truth, so fertilize your romance, don’t be too busy, old or too religious for it.
8. Head home straight from work: as Muslims, you know you are prohibited from unlawful things so avoid going to night club, go only to “home club”. Go home after office and spend time with your family everyday that is the only thing you can do to show that you value them.
9. Make good use of public holiday: avoid outside appointments as much as possible on public holidays, spend it exclusively with your family.
10. Make good use of your vacation: ensure that you plan your vacation to correspond together. Take time away from home to reflect on your marriage and life together. Are you completing the other half of faith or you are destroying each other; these are questions you must spend time to reflect on.
For those who love, like each other, nothing has proven as good as marriage. (Ibn Majah).
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