1. Intimate Communication
Communicating with your spouse is one of the best ways to ensure a passionate and lasting sex life.
Sexual technique is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. So it's very important to ask for what you want in a way that doesn't convey that the other person is doing it wrong. You are the greatest expert in the world on the subject of what will please you in bed. A good partner will not take it personally, but will take your teachings to heart.
2. Sex Signals
You and your spouse wake up, go to work, come home, deal with dinner, take care of the kids, go to bed. And maybe you make a move. But if this is the first signal you've given all day, it may be no surprise that your partner isn't in the mood.
If you'd like to make love, start sending signals a day or two ahead of time. You know your partner best, so you know what signals are likely to be well received.
Some ideas:
-- Offer a more-passionate-than-usual goodbye kiss in the morning.
-- Taking on an extra household chore so your partner can sleep in 15 more minutes.
-- Send a passionate text message in the middle of the workday.
-- Make his or her favorite dinner.
-- Offer genuine appreciation for something your partner does around the house.
-- Set a scene in the bedroom -- pick up the socks on the floor, light some candles, put on some soft music.
-- Compliment your partner's looks.
-- Wear something your partner likes.
--send out vibes.
--flirt with your spouse.
3. Romance and Sex
Romance can lead to sex, but it isn't the same thing. Romantic words, body language, and actions send a message that you desire your partner, but also that you care, that you are thinking of the other person, and that you want him or her to feel special and valued.
For some people, romantic feelings toward a partner are necessary before they can experience sexual desire.
When stress and daily pressures start to pile up, romance can sometimes seem hard to create. Simple gestures -- a gentle touch, a smile, stopping what you're doing to welcome the other person home, performing a household chore the other person hates -- can often be more romantic than expensive gestures.
4. Passionate Play
Sex with a long-term partner doesn't have to be dull. Indeed, if you build up a pattern of trust and love over time, you may find an unadventurous partner more willing to experiment. A few suggestions:
-- Get silly. Laughing together can be a great turn-on.
-- Experiment with different times of day, locations, and positions.
5. Body Image and Sexuality
Women in particular are prone to issues around body image. A person who looks perfectly fine to her partner may be convinced that she's fat or ugly. Taken to extremes, this becomes "body dysmorphia," an inability to see your body the way it is, which is a contributing factor in eating disorders.
Both men and women are attracted to people who are confident in their bodies. This confidence can overcome a great many body flaws. Many fat or ugly people have active sex lives in part because of differences in how they understand and use their bodies.
If your body is imperfect, don't let it get in the way of enjoying your sexuality and expressing your desire for your partner. If you find it hard to let go of anxious thoughts about your flaws, you may want to try a few sessions of therapy to work on this issue.
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